A guide to becoming a person that achieves all their goals
“What do you want? But tell me, Gigi, What DO YOU REALLY REALLY want?” a coach asked me this three years ago and I am still thinking about it.
I was always the kind of person that reached all their goals. All the time. By all standards, at the time, I should have felt so successful and happy. But the reality was different: I was depressed, I was overworked, I was unhappy. So much so that it was affecting all my relationships: I was not showing up as the wife I wanted to be, I was being flaky in relationships, I was dropping the ball in partnerships, and even with my clients.
The reality hit me that all the goals I was setting fell into one or two categories:
Things I was 100% sure I could achieve
Things that I believed I needed to achieve to be successful
So, I was not stretching myself out of my comfort zone, and when I was, it was for things I didn’t even want. Right then, I knew something had to change. And, just like that, everything changed.
After trying this new “method” on myself, I started sharing it with friends and clients just to see if it would work. And it did.
What is the recipe to becoming a person who achieves all their goals? Radical honesty and unwavering commitment. Let’s do a creative exercise together so you can see how this works.
The first step is to deeply sink into what you really want. Is it money that you want? A certain lifestyle? If you find yourself using broad terms like “financial freedom,” get clear with what that looks like. At this point of the exercise, we’re not considering any limitations. This is a creative exercise of radical honesty about what you really want in life or an aspect of life. [If you’re just starting out with goal setting, I’d recommend starting with something a little specific, like “lose 20 lbs” or “start my business,” or “receive $10,000.]
In this next step you’ll be writing, or thinking, in the first person, and in the present tense. “I lost 20 lbs,” “I receive $10,000 every month.” Imagine yourself already having what you desire and describe your life:
What are you doing?
How do you make decisions?
What do your relationships look like?
What are you wearing?
How do you feel most of the time?
What does your routine look like?
So on and so forth.
Once this step of the exercise is completed, we’ll use some radical honesty with:
What are the things you’re already doing in your life that are in alignment with that version of you?
What are the things you’re currently working on? And how can you improve them?
What are the things that you’re not doing? Why?
What are the limitations?
What are your self-sabotage patterns? [this is important because we’re such smart humans and we can talk ourselves out of the thing we know we should be doing]
It’s important for us to see the things that we do that are in alignment with that vision, the places where we can improve, and what we need to shift first to achieve that.
Let me give you an example:
Step 1: What do you really want?
I want to lose 20 lbsI
Step 2: Creative Exercise.
Now that I lost 20 lbs I feel so good about myself. My clothes fit so well, I feel strong, confident and sexy.
My relationship with my partner is so healthy, mainly because I’m not hiding behind oversized clothing and I feel so confident looking at the mirror.
Even my friendships have improved; I’m more assertive and funnier, and I feel like I’m back to being who I really am.
I go to the gym three times a week for 45-minutes. I love exercising and it feels so good to push my body to levels I never thought was possible. The other days, I do yoga/go for walks/runs/ or simply have a dance party at home. Moving my body never felt better.
I eat so well, I love experimenting with new recipes and trying new vegetables and legumes. I found my favorite recipe for squash soup that is a staple at my home.
I learned that the better I feel, the better friend and coach I am.
Step 3: Radical Honesty
I already go for 30 minutes walks daily
I am trying to find clothing that fits better
I need to find recipes that are easy to cook, healthy, and taste good
I need to join a gym
I need to find classes, or activities to do at the gym
For the fourth step, you need to get clear with how committed you are to your goal. Rate, from zero to 10, how committed are you to achieve your goal?
If it’s a 10, great! Outline how it feels to be so committed and what that looks like in your daily life.
If it’s not a 10, outline the why and how you can turn that into a 10.
I’m a level seven committed to losing 20 lbs. Part of me is concerned about what my friends will say when I start ordering a salad instead of a burger. I’m afraid of being judged when I go to the gym. I don’t even know where to start. Well, I can tell my friends about my goals, and I’m sure they’ll support me. I can find a gym that is “size-inclusive” and start with easy beginner classes. I can talk with friends who exercise or hire a personal trainer and nutritionist to help me get started.
The next step is what makes you really achieve your goals: you’ll now outline the actions that you’re taking and their frequency. We’re taking the goal from the ideation and bringing it to your daily life in a way that you know exactly what to do and when to do it.
This is where you show your commitment. You are now breaking down the steps to items with frequency so you know exactly what you are doing and when you are doing it.
Join the gym - once - by January 15, 2024
Go to the Zumba classes - twice per week
Clean my wardrobe: donate/sell what doesn’t fit well, buy new clothes - once - by April 2024
Go to spin class - once per week
Go for “walk-dates” with my partner - daily
Partner with a nutritionist for new recipes - once per month
Research easy slow cooker recipes that are healthy - one time - by December 31, 2023
I read my affirmation: “I am worthy of health. It’s safe for me to live in a strong body.”
Now, all you need to do is to plug this into your calendar and take action.
If this feels simplistic, it’s because it is. The more honest and real we are with our goals, the better we can visualize them, and we can create an action plan to bring them to reality.
Following this framework, I’ve seen the impossible becoming possible:
A client reached $1M in sales 18 months after starting their business
I am in the relationship of my dreams [which I never thought it was possible]
I lost 20 lbs in 10 months without dieting
A client pays herself 6-figures every year and takes a 3-month sabbatical
When we are committed to becoming the version of ourselves that already lives the life we desire, we don’t need to push, force, or “fake it until you make it.” All you have to do is to take one small action every single day.
If you need accountability, please email firstname.lastname@example.org with your goals, and I’ll be there to support you and cheer you on!
Written by Gigi Bier