Written by: Jo Hall
Ever had an experience where you were SO invested in the outcome? You so wanted it to work out well? It meant the absolute world to you?
Maybe it was your first, or a big, launch. Maybe it was signing up a dream client after a discovery call. Maybe it was going on a second date with that gorgeous soul. Or maybe it was getting your offer accepted on that dream home.
But then the zero sign-ups, the ghosting, the rejection happened, and you felt utterly demoralised. You wondered what you’d done to deserve it. You beat yourself up. What was wrong with you? You should have worked harder or done or said something different. Damn it! It all felt so good, so positive, and instead you’re left feeling worthless, useless, no good, or, [the dreaded] not good enough.
Sadly, I’ve been there too. Many of us have. And many of us will continue to do so until we know the secret.
‘What secret?!,’ I hear you cry.
Well... it took me a while to figure out, but I’m going to let you know in on it...
And here’s what’s so great about this secret: You get to keep on dreaming and falling in love with what you’re doing and aiming for. This secret is simply a better way of approaching scenarios where you want something so very badly. It’s a way that feels calm, fun, easy, playful. And one that gives you the most perfect outcome of all.
Ready to get in on this little secret?
It all begins with the meaning you place on something. The meaning that you give that is attached directly to your own self worth. It might sound something like this: If ten people sign up for this launch or this dream client signs up it means I am successful / people want to work with me / I am good at what I do. If I get asked on a second date it means I am attractive / desirable / deserving of love. If I secure this dream home it means I am successful / my life is complete / I am worthy of good things.
Except all these external things, these stories we tell ourselves, do not validate our sense of self or determine our worth. If they did then every person who has ever been on a date and then rejected is unloveable, unattractive, undesirable, undeserving of love. When you put it like that, you can see it’s just nonsense.
The truth is that nothing has any meaning unless you place meaning on it.
Next time something ‘big’ looms, intentionally attach zero meaning to it. When your heart has a little flutter because it means so much to you, place your hand on your heart and say ‘Perfect things will come to me for my greatest good, in grace, and in perfect time. I enjoy this whole experience just as it is with no expectation’.
The power of this heart-aligned affirmation alone is incredible. But there’s a little bit more to unlocking the full magic within this secret.
The second part, the truly expansive and exciting part, is about letting go. Human beings love to control things, or rather, our egos do. Control feels orderly, it feels safer, more certain. It’s as if by trying to control an outcome we gain power and can feel better about ourselves. But the control we’re seeking isn’t even possible. There are so many forces at play beyond our control that we’d drive ourselves insane trying to think of, never mind mitigate, each and every one. So let go of appealing to your ego - for that’s what control is - and let go of any expectations.
Instead be curious to what might happen instead. Be open to receiving exactly what you need. Come from a place of passion, of playfulness, of pure ease, and feel lit up with feel-good vibes. Enjoy the ride and trust that no matter what the outcome is, it will be for your highest good.
When we let go in this way, detaching ourselves from a specific outcome, we let the magic of the Universe take over. The Universe is continually expanding and is full of knowing. It knows things beyond our wildest dreams and far, far beyond what our limited mind can even imagine. It knows better than we do what we need to expand, to grow, and to become the very best version of ourselves.
Trust that the Universe is working with you and for you. It always has and always is.
The seeming unsuccessful zero-sign-up-launch will likely give you the lessons you needed to make it simpler or less stressful next time. Or maybe it was teaching you to launch something your soul believes in and not what you think you should have. Maybe that ideal client wasn’t so ideal after all and it just created space in your diary for something you truly needed right now. It might just be that the Universe has even better plans for you next time … a more profitable, easy launch; an even dreamier soul client; your true soulmate; the house beyond your dreams at a better price.
No matter what the outcome, it is truly the perfect miracle you needed to expand into the greatest version of you yet.
If this article resonates, you might like to grab your journal and answer these prompts for deeper personal growth and expansion …
What unhelpful meaning did I place on this event / outcome?
What is the helpful truth about myself or the situation that I now see?
What learning or opportunity was I gifted from the experience?
Why am I secretly glad this happened in the way it did and what can I take forward to serve me better in the future?
Originally published in Issue 2 · April/May 2021 issue of SOULACY.
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